A sleeper car is an unassuming vehicle that hides tremendous power and takes people by surprise when it launches like a rocket off the line. A little-known sub-genre of the sleeper car is the goofy car, not to be confused with a funny car, which is a ride that is so comically weird in appearance, that it's impossible to believe it has the capacity to blow doors off. Think of something along the lines of a clown car with a Hellephant.
The problem is, fast cars are supposed to look fast. Nobody ever lined up against a Ferrari F40 and then expressed shock that they lost. A McLaren F1 appears like a rocket ship, capable of hitting hyperspace. A Dodge Demon 170 looks like it could literally eat you for lunch and then ask for seconds. Speed should be tied to a speedy appearance and the Better Business Bureau should hit these dorky sleeper cars for false advertising.
It sucks to lose a race to any car, but at least if it's something awesome, it's not an ego-crushing embarrassment. Losing to a sleeper car is kind of like getting hustled into the pool, with feelings of anger for being so gullible. Getting smoked by a goofy-looking ride however is a whole different level of shame, so here are the weird and deceptive vehicles to look out for.
10 2014 Lincoln MKT
Top Speed: 107 mph
The MKT was Lincoln's attempt at a luxury crossover SUV that was just plain unappealing. The styling was uninspired and forgettable, but what made this ride goofy was that obnoxious front grill. The vehicle actually has a big toothy, dopey grin like if Gomer Pyle were an SUV. They should have at least licensed Jim Neighbors' voice, so the horn would unleash a loud: "Shazam!"
Power and Performance
| Engine | 3.5-liter twin-turbo V-6 |
| Engine Output | 355 horsepower, 350 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Six-speed automatic |
| 0-60 Time | 6.1 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 14.6 seconds |
| Top Speed | 107 mph |
Adding to the mystery of this ill-conceived vehicle is that Lincoln made it really fast. Maybe they were hoping if it could blow some doors off, nobody would notice how inherently dorky it looks. Despite not selling very many MKTs, it was manufactured for 12 model years, as if Lincoln couldn't admit they made a horrible mistake.
9 2003 Chevrolet SSR
Top Speed: 134 mph
It's weird that the Chevrolet SSR ever made it to production because a retro-roadster convertible pickup doesn't even sound good on paper. It definitely doesn't look good in reality, and it's quite frankly bad at being a truck or a roadster, though it does manage to pull off being a convertible, which is easy as not having a top.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 6.0-liter V-8 |
| Engine Output | 390 horsepower, 405 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Six-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 5.5 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 14.1 seconds |
| Top Speed | 134 mph |
It was pretty fast though, coming equipped with a Corvette LS2 V-8. Tremendous speed wasn't enough to save this silly-looking ride and after only selling around 9,000 it was discontinued the year after its launch. The biggest problem for the SRR was that there is literally no consumer demand for goofy rides with crazy speed, otherwise, it would have corned the market.
8 2014 Fiat 695 Abarth Biposto
Top Speed: 143 mph
Fiat failed in the American market in the 1970s with cool-looking but poorly made vehicles. They failed again in the States in the 2010s with well-made but seriously dorky cars. They overestimated the demand for souped-up golf carts, without ever realizing the obvious fact that a golf cart cannot be turned into something badass.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 1368 cm T-Jet straight-four |
| Engine Output | 190 horsepower, 250 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Five-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 5.9 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 14.6 seconds |
| Top Speed | 143 mph |
The Abarth is one of the ugliest, in a sad way, cars to ever hit a U.S. dealer showroom, and even its name is unattractive. Fiat tried making some speedy Abarth models to attract American buyers, like the 695 but nobody bit. Maybe it's for the best because this quick but weird little ride would have bruised the egos of Camaro drivers off the line and at the oval track.
7 1988 Consulier GTP Series 1
Top Speed: 155 mph
The formula for making a race car is simple: give it an aerodynamic look and everything else will work out. In 1985, hedge fund manager, Warren Mosler, asked the question: why can't race cars be really awkward looking? He then answered that question by building the Consulier GTP, which routinely lands on everyone's ugliest car ever made list.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 2.4-liter Turbo II inline-four |
| Engine Output | 204 horsepower, 240 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Five-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 5.2 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 13.9 seconds |
| Top Speed | 155 mph |
Despite looking like it was inspired by a Lego car, it actually was pretty fast, but there were some doors it couldn't blow off. Mosler offered a $25,000 bounty to anyone who could beat the GTP's lap time in a production, street-legal vehicle, so Car and Driver took him up on it and scorched his weird ride with a stock 1991 Corvette.
6 2006 Dodge Magnum SRT-8
Top Speed: 155 mph
Dodge was killing it in the mid-oughts with the successful reboots of the Charger and Challenger, as well as the incredible third-generation Ram Trucks. Then again, this is also around the time they came out with the Magnum "muscle station wagon," proving they can't all be winners. At least they made some with HEMIs like the 2005 SRT-8, but power can't fix ugly.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 6.1-liter HEMI V-8 |
| Engine Output | 425 horsepower, 420 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Five-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 5.1 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 13.1 seconds |
| Top Speed | 155 mph |
To be fair, there's nothing wrong with the front half of the Magnum, but after the driver's door, it descends into design madness with a sloping station wagon rear. Maybe they were trying to make a car that could seat the entire cast of Revenge of the Nerds with this dweeb-mobile and simply forgot that most people like cool-looking rides.
5 1998 BMW M Coupé
Top Speed: 155 mph
BMW is known for making tasteful high-end luxury vehicles. Even their sports cars are luxurious and tasteful because they are a company that puts a premium on class. Then there's whatever the hell the M Coupé is, which is the most off-brand Beemer ever made. As kind of a mix between a classic Jaguar roadster and a late 70s Honda Civic hatchback, it's a Frankencar in the worst possible way.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 3.2-liter inline-six |
| Engine Output | 315 horsepower, 251 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Five-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 4.7 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 13.2 seconds |
| Top Speed | 155 mph |
The development team had a hard time convincing the board of directors to green-light this atrocity, and it's clear BMW should have gone with their instincts. Unironically, the M Coupé was nicknamed the "clown shoe" which should have been the actual name of the vehicle. It would have been as appropriate as if the Ford Pinto was named "The Fireball" or the Suzuki Samurai carried the "Rolls Over" nameplate.
4 2011 Cadillac CTS-V Sports Wagon
Top Speed: 163 mph
People like the Cadillac CTS-V because it's fast, not because it is a slick-looking set of wheels. The CTS-V sedan was already fairly unattractive and nothing like the luxury cars Cadillac is known for, but then they decided to make it into a station wagon, which they called a "sports wagon" to up the goofball factor.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 6.2-liter Supercharged V-8 |
| Engine Output | 556 horsepower, 551 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Six-speed automatic |
| 0-60 Time | 4.0 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 11.97 seconds |
| Top Speed | 163 mph |
MotorTrend declared the 2011 CTS-V had stolen the "sleeper crown" which is a nice way of saying it's fast but definitely not cool. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has their own tastes, but numbers don't lie and there's some hard science to prove how aesthetically displeasing this ride was: Cadillac only sold 295 examples of the CTS-V Wagons in 2011.
3 1970 Dodge Charger Daytona
Top Speed: 170 mph
The 1970 Dodge Charger Daytona is an iconic classic muscle car and one of the most sought-after Mopars ever, but let's address the elephant (or Hellephant) in the room, it's kind of weird looking. The second-gen Chargers were already long cars, but that nose cone stretches it to comical proportions and the giant flying wing makes it look a something from The Jetsons.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 426ci HEMI V-8 |
| Engine Output | 425 horsepower, 490 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Four-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 5.3 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 13.7 seconds |
| Top Speed | 170 mph |
Of course, the point of the Daytona wasn't to be the coolest-looking thing on the track, but rather the fastest, which it was. The car was designed specifically to dominate NASCAR and it did it so effectively that it got banned. It was the first car to hit 200 mph in a race with a souped-up engine, but the factory models were still freakishly fast, if not a bit goofy.
2 2006 Pontiac GTO
Top Speed: 178 mph
How the 2006 GTO is related to the '64 muscle car or the 13-second beast 1971 Judge is anyone's guess. It was a compact-ish car with all the kickass character of a Hyundai Excel, which is the default goober mobile. Despite its wimpy looks, this pseudo-GTO was on steroids and the fastest muscle car of the 2000s.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 6.0-liter LS2 V-8 |
| Engine Output | 400 horsepower, 400 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Six-speed manual |
| 0-60 Time | 4.8 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 13.1 seconds |
| Top Speed | 178 mph |
Pontiac forgot the rule that people want performance cars that look like performance cars, and they didn't sell many of these. Critics slammed the GTO reboot as being too conservative and anonymous-looking, but Road & Track summed it up perfectly by calling it "sadly, a failure." Still, at some point one of these Goofy Goats blew the doors off an '06 Mustang GT and that owner is probably still in therapy.
1 2011 Ferrari FF
Top Speed: 208 mph
If it weren't for that horsey logo on the side of the FF, nobody would ever suspect it was a Ferrari. It looks like a crossover SUV, which is already decidedly uncool, that was flattened out by a pizza roller. FF stands for "Ferrari Four" but it could just as easily mean "Funny Ferrari" but not in an amusing way. If you're going to drop $300,000 on a Ferrari, get one that looks like a Ferrari.
Power and Performance
| Engine | 6.3-liter V-12 |
| Engine Output | 650 horsepower, 504 pound-feet of torque |
| Transmission | Seven-speed dual-clutch |
| 0-60 Time | 3.3 seconds |
| Quarter-mile | 11.7 seconds |
| Top Speed | 208 mph |
Road & Track named this excursion into Goofy Town as the #1 oddball car of all time, asking, "Who would've ever thought Ferrari would make a car like the FF?" That being said, this oddball can roll and would blow the doors off of almost anything else at the track. That is if the 2,291 people who bought these weirdo cars aren't too insecure to take them out of the garage.